A Casual Side Mirror Glance :)

     So, I've been on a really long vacation these past few months. For the longest time, I was able to embrace the warm feeling of just being home. For the time given, I've had the chance for an amount of rest and also, for some house cleaning. Honestly, I don't enjoy cleaning as much, I can be lazy when I don't feel like it and my allergies are no joke. But, one thing that makes cleaning good is when I get to uncover memories that seem forgotten and those that seemed buried down memory lane.

     I am a person of the past. One of the things I enjoy most is scanning through old photos. How time flies so fast. Long ago, college seems like a really long way to go but now, I am inches close to finishing. Really, it's a surprise how two decades pass unbelievably fast. The next time, we wouldn't know but a decade or more has again rushed away.

     Anyways, there are a lot of things I miss from my childhood and adolescent years. Different stages, different phases, different encounters, different set of friends, of acquaintances, different faces. Different pretty much sums up life.

     Of all these things different, one different phase I probably would not ever forget is high school. Four years I get to spend with pretty much the same set of people. Back then, I belong to a class with a population that plays around 20 and 21. Compared to others, we are quite few but honestly, it did not feel like it. It still felt complete. It still was a crazy bunch. A bunch filled with people confusing being a kid from being an adult. :)

            School was what brought us together, but it wasn't school that highlights these four years. It was the friendships made, the get-together's, the many talks, the quarrels, the issues, the inside jokes and the memories worth reminiscing after everything comes to end.

           There were cliques, there were also war encounters. Bridges were burned then built again, that was a process on repeat. Bullying- mild or intense- was present. Matchmaking, getting together and eventually, breakups were quite a topic. Examinations and tests were days of obvious teamwork and cooperation (you know what I mean?). Preparing for competitions and contests between year levels were an emotional roller coaster. Not everything was a bliss but remembering it at the currents is beyond euphoric.

            Turning back time is something that can not be granted even when how extremely one wants to. All thanks to these mementos and souvenirs, I can at least mind travel down memory lane. The trail's quite long and I had met with a series of regrets of doing this and not doing that but I savvied - regrets are not welcome in my present-day life.

              Now, I'm just happy whenever we get to meet up, talk and laugh about the four years we've all shared and witnessed. Everyone has surely changed, some grew taller, some gained weight, some lost, some are busier than some, some have changed views and principles, and some have flown out. Sure, change is understandable, ironically unchangeable. But hey, meetups are nice. Care to listen to some FM Static or Secondhand Serenade?

"Life may be a one way street, taking U-turns are illegal but casual glancing on side mirrors does not break any law. :)"

     

HAPPY CLAV DAY!.. :))

            This post is dedicated to my forever best friends, we call ourselves CLAV. J It was not at the same time that we had all met. Some came earlier, some later but that did not matter. It was when we were second year high school when we decided to call our group as it is and decided to annually celebrate the friendship.(Yes, we have our anniversary). And it was on this day, December 8 of 2008. J I remembered how we first celebrated the first with a half roll cake that we did not get to finish by ourselves. The simple cake then upgraded to lots of things, karaoke, kinect and many more to come.

               Thank you could be very cliché but I would like to say anyways because I am always grateful for having them. It is always nice to have girls you can have matching stuffs with. I always appreciate and enjoy the matching or similar gifts during Christmas. (And looking forward for more J). I also missed those times of staying late at school, after all, those extended stays are one if not the reason why we all became close. And the effort of collecting messages and thinking of some surprises during one’s birthday could never be forgotten and will always be cherished. The many laughs, the walking then pose for a picture moment, the eating, the talking and even all those when you try correcting me (knowing how I can become so clumsy, careless and thoughtless), I can always recall. But what I am very much thankful of? This had been on repeat for a lot of times but I am really gratified with how you had not ignored me despite that time when I seem to have been blinded. The frank talks, the once in a blue moon private conversations about life, love, family, thank you, thank you for being very patient with me and SORRY.

  

               It all started high school and how fast time has flown. We’re all in our third year of college now, working hard and living our dreams. Sadly though, we don’t get to see each other much often as we do years ago. But I know , this would just all pay off, someday, we’d be fulfilling our dreams, our dreams of becoming very important and efficient names in the medical field (Despite the difference in the courses we took up, we all are enrolled in medical courses).

                We don't have too much recents, guess these ones could suffice.. I love you guys!

              HAPPY CLAV DAY! <3

Rants, Realizations, Submission: My Way to the "Judgment Day"

        I’m finally writing again after a long time. Funny how just now, I reviewed my previous entry done last May where I was writing of horror stories and Halloween. Coincidence or not, I find it rather amusing how I have returned to doing blogs 5 months after which I had mentioned in the previous. Anyways, I have my reasons on blogging again. One is that I am bored, it’s the second week of our Semestral Break and I have nothing else to do but get myself fat. And second, since the Finals I had been always fidgety and doubtful about my grades and my overall performance and somehow wanted to channel how I felt into something I’m most fond at. And lastly, as an avid fan of Instagram, from the account of a local celebrity I am following, I came across with a quote that somehow eased my trouble at the moment.

         Initially, I would rant all to myself how difficult my course is. Human nature, huh. I tend to blame everything to how the lessons are just too difficult to fathom matched with the complex and impossible-to-comprehend tests the teachers are giving us. Then, as if a natural cycle, following step would that be of recalling how much I stayed up studying all night enduring only 2 or 3 hours sleep which unluckily did not pay off. I admit to these things. I once thought this was the truth, I once thought I am not to blame but it turned out I was only forcing myself to believe on my own lies, to protect myself from guilt in case the results are not what I expected. And yes, I do not think my results are good. To be honest, these 2 weeks had been the most uncomfortable and uneasy I had been. I’ve had my read of good books, my fair watch of really to-be-hooked-for movies and series and not to mention my heart-racing, running moments attributed for by the series of earthquakes and aftershocks we had been feeling (God bless my nation), but despite these nice and not nice distractions, these personal troubles somehow just seem to creep back at a snap’s time. Never had been a day of these 2 weeks that these thoughts had not been haunting me. Deep. Drastic. Dramatic. you might think, but this is true. And continually, I had become more in doubt as our so-called “Judgment Day” comes much nearer as compared to the yesterdays. My mom had told me nothing else but “Pray”. I admit if not for these troubles, I would not have been as this kind of prayerful as I am now. It may be too late to realize that but hey, Our God is merciful, giving and forgiving. So, I thought of that and do all I think I should do. I had been really specific in my prayers, asking Him for this urgent need of mine. Then, I come across with this.

                                        Credits to: @krapfhelga (instagram)

         Then I recognized my wrong. I should be prayerful but in my prayers, I realized I was imposing too much on what I thought I urgently need not minding on what God thinks, or better yet, know of what I truly need. God is my Creator, I am only one of his many masterpieces. I can do something for myself but I do not have full control of my life. I am still hopeful and aware of what I think I need: to pass this semester and see my parents at least content that I had not wasted what they had worked hard for but for this remaining time, I'm loosening my grip and am worrying less, submitting myself to Him and letting Him drive me to whichever direction He would lead me, after all, His will be done. :) 

         My Lord, is my switch, my remote control. He leads, I will follow. 

Horror Movies: The Chills they Give Me

May 2, 2013. It is still about 5 months to go before the month of Halloween but I am in the mood for horror stories. Haha. No worries, I believe I do not have the capability on seeing or even feeling the supernatural. Lucky me. :)

When I say my mood's on horror stories. I meant the horror movies and the effect it gives to me. This is not some spooky entry, it is just me giving hints on my scaredy, delusional, shameful self.

When it comes to watching horror movies, I am truly game especially when watching in movie houses with friends. Though, I tell you I am not really that enjoyable to be company with because I do not scream or shout when surprisingly terrifying scenes come popping on the screen.  Quoting myself, "I am not expressive." At first I thought it was cool because it just proves me mighty unlike any others. People often gets the impression that when one does not scream, that directly implies one is not afraid when in fact, I think I am actually more afraid than those screaming. Then it turns out that my horror story dilemmas do not appear during screening time but rather the moment when the screen turns blank.

However, some horror movies do not have much great effect on me. Some just give me slight second skips of the heart, and some for just hours and then I can comfortably go to sleep. I had seen Ladda Land with friends and just hours after, I had survived sleeping in my room alone. I also had watched The Woman in Black, The Sinister, Amorosa, The Healing, The Exorcist, The Eye, Mama etc and they have pretty much just have slight effects.

As far as I can remember, there were 4 horror movies that had made a mark and had led me to delusions. Trauma, is it? Haha. Anyways, here is my list:

1. SHAKE, RATTLE AND ROLL X- "CLASS PICTURE"

This episode only though. I know it is Filipino. But after watching this movie in the movie theater with my highschool friends, I was suffering for some delusions at about a month or so. Every night, I get afraid coming out of our room alone. Much more, I had a routine of peeing every night (or dawn) at around 12:00 -3:00 am, but after seeing this, I always had to control my bladder because then I would be reminded of Sister Bellonia hunting for students to be killed and punished and included in this certain class picture. But when I could not control it anymore , I remember always running fast to return at a split second. That was second year though and I believe I am over it. :)

2. THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE

So this one, I have not yet finished. I attempted so many times but to no luck, I just always end up in the acrobatics in the church scene because I was too afraid to continue. I suffered months too. Give me real chills. Just too believable. Too afraid to continue.

3.JEEPERS CREEPERS 1 AND 2 (this counts two)

Summer of 2010 when I watched both parts 1 and 2. It actually isn't that believable but I don't know why I had become very delusional after watching this. Maybe because, they say this jeeper creeper can not die? Or its creepy, repeating, ear-ringing theme song? Or that underground place filled with body parts? Or the fact that it won't stop chasing if he's after you? Or that it also appears in the day? And for how long I freaked out on this? Well, the entire summer. And how it did me? I became too watchful of the sky, it might go flying around. I even felt so much protective of my family, I do not let them go out at night even on our house garden. And when we sleep, curtains should drape down covering the window glass. I also piled large throw pillows to cover this small glass window and I see to it I'd be nearest the windows just in case the jeeper creeper came. Pathetic me. That was 3 years ago though and I am over it. FINALLY.

Now you can laugh at me!

The Cheeziness in Me Featuring My Only Brother.. :)

        A bit of my very first entry talks about my family and how much I love them. I love them equally but this entry I dedicate to my one and only brother. He is the youngest of us four and our only boy. At eleven, we'd still treat him like our baby especially by my mom and me (but we did not spoil him). I think the family did a good job raising him because despite his being youngest with a distant age gap of five years from our third, he does not rant and feel too special and goody-goody about it. Yes he expresses what he wants but he does not demand for it. What can be provided, he accepts. What can not, he accepts the fact.

Now, that is my brother- Vince Reven Tampon. I used to carry him when he was little. I used to lift him on my feet as he makes impressions of superman. I used to give him piggy-back rides, horsey rides and rides on my shoulders. But now, I can not do it anymore because he's bigger, heavier and taller. How time flies fast, and many things had changed. But one thing though still remains, I love him just the same, this love I show him not through the rock-a-byes, the rides and the lifts anymore but the hugs, kisses, concern and support. So sad thinking my little brother is growing up. He was once this little boy. :(

Moving on, it is still okay because we know he is going to be a very intelligent, fine young man. An honor in class and a favorite because he is kind, gentle and respectful. He also has really good looks (but girls, I'm on the watch!).

                                        So smart and charming! 

 Honestly though, despite teasing him of some classmates and girlfriends, I still feel nervous and hurt?, because for me he is always this little brother who until now, I take a lot of pictures with. Who until now, is my companion, my date, my birthday-mate (we usually celebrate birthdays together, same month), my friend, my servant (thank you so much Vince) and cuddle buddy. Here are some pictures of us:

It would be wrong to say he is the best brother because he is my only one. But nothing will ever compare to you buddy. I do not say I love you the most because I know the family loves you equally. We love you our all-in-one guy. Stay the same okay? Do not mind the bad talks and the misjudgments. You are loved by many, do not get affected by the few. 

                              
                         "WORLD, WATCH OUT! HE WILL CONQUER."

Embrace. No regret. No looking down. :)

     On a daily basis, I have been checking my social media profile and my news feeds as well. I do this a multiple times a day. There are these schemes I usually can observe from my Facebook friends and fellow instagram users most especially teenage girls. 9gag had already addressed these stuffs though (those posts of memes and trolls?) but I would want to share my say for my third entry. So please allow me?

      The first one goes like this:

       

                        Caption: "Sorry for looking so ugly!" or "So ugly my face, Eew!" (haha)

      Okay, I'm guilty. I remembered I had one picture captioned this way but that was 5 years ago or so, way back when I was new to friendster. Yes, friendster days. The camera was not that clear (around 1.3 to 2.o mp) at the time so I had a valid excuse to call the photo ugly, kidding, honestly as I look back, I can not remember why I had it that way. Haha, throwback (it's a Thursday). Anyways, this style of captioning is still common to my facebook friends now. I mean it is 2013 people, even phones are now capable of taking super clear pictures, beauty cameras are even available. And besides, if you think you are ugly, why effort to upload it and let the world see? You know yourself that we only put things in display because we think it is beautiful, that it can sell as if the clothes we put on mannequins.

      So girls, embrace yourselves. Tell yourself you are beautiful and not the other way. I think this is some kind of mechanism that exhibits your humility but I tell you, people do not think of it that way. People would actually think that this you are saying about your own picture is nothing but pathetic and cheesy. It would seem you are some person seeking for attention. Would you want to be given that kind of impression? Because for me, I do not think so.

              The second one: Supposing these pictures are in some collage.

Caption: "I miss my long hair, huhu. Please grow fast. :( "

         What can I say? I do not say it is bad to reminisce, it is always good to look back. Fun memories, fun times. It is just that in regards to your hair, you had obviously made your decision final to cut it short. Whatever reasons, it was decided already, so why regret and shout it to the world? I mean you know you are beautiful even when your hair's shorter right? Because you wouldn't cut it in the first place when you don't think you will be?

           This is just the point I'm making. Instead of posting pictures of regrets, why not flaunt your new look? Surprise people with the transformation and enjoy the attention. :)

                                      "Confidence boosts beauty."
       

no more, please!

            As a kid, by about 5-11 years old, I had always believed I look fat, dark, hunchback with really thick, curly hair in which the newly-grown shorter ones at the front stand uncontrollably. I face real deal insecurities though I was lucky because the people around me, my family, friends, neighbors and classmates were too kind that I had not been called ugly, hurtful names despite the obvious unflattering physical features.

See what I mean? haha!

I am proud to say that I am no victim of bullies. And that the only thing that triggered me of my past insecurities is myself which then was easily overcome by the care and appreciation the people around me showed to me. Thank God, I lived a happy childhood, a childhood that I could always look back with a smile and never be considered a dark remnant that should never be unraveled. 

This entry is not actually one of those throwbacks and most especially not about me. This one's written in the   hope that I portray a message that I would actually want everyone to see from my own example. 

I check gossip sites, I visit oceanup, justjared even pep. I had read many articles of celebrities and their fans relay their experiences of being bullied and how such experience affect them. Many resulted to cutting themselves, starving to death, turning into psychotics and committing suicide. 

People may say those who are suffering are actually the ones making their own problems, they are too lightweight , too weak that they let their own selves be affected. Maybe, this can be accepted at some point but some things are too easy to say. We never know until we are in the same situation. 

To the bullies and to the people who only judge through presentation and never savor. Know your words, put yourselves in the victim's shoes. It is okay to be frank and honest but be aware of the limits. I tell you, people are aware of the good and bad of their features, you do not have to remind them again and again. If you are doing this, you are not actually showing concern anymore, instead you are actually building up the pressure, adding fuel to the fire. All of us know we can not handle too much of that pressure, at one point, we tend to explode, tear down and just feel helpless. We do not want anyone to be experiencing that right? Much more, we do not want to be at fault. 

To us all, whether we criticize on purpose or not, just stop! Again, others are aware of themselves as much as you are, thus, you do not have to slap it in their face. Instead, why don't we just show concern and acceptance and love. Consider you have your own flaws too. Let us put an end to bullying and its effects on people. Let us give everyone a happy past, a happy childhood that they can look back to despite their own insecurities. 

"Insecurities are part of a man's nature, but when added with pressure from others, this becomes dangerous."

Got how I relate this to my own?  :)

results? winner :)